Walk the Line

...was fantastic! I saw it last night with B. finally, and it really surpassed what I was expecting. One of my favorite elements was that nearly every song was performed in whole - not just montage-y snippets of a number of different numbers or something like that. I see what everyone means when they talk about oscar contention.

Thanksgiving and Travel update

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't written anything in nearly a week. Not like anyone reads this thing anyway. But what the hell. Have an update on my oh-so-interesting life anyway.

I got to my mom's house in the Philadelphia suburbs on Tuesday night, and though I was busy for the whole trip, it turned out to be just what I needed. Wednesday I was home alone, and ended up doing a bunch of inconsequential yard work in the 35 degree weather. Wednesday night my sister came back from school, and Thursday morning (5am) my brother got in from the red-eye from LA. The big meal had 11 of us gorging ourselves on my mom's fantastic cooking - Mom, bro, sis, me, Nana & Papa, Aunt K. and Uncle D. Cousin S. and her daughter C. and mom's BF, J. It was great to relax in front of the fire with a few football games I didn't care about, and be glad I wasn't outside in the incredible wind.

After everyone left, the wind got so bad that we actually lost power for a few hours, which is always nice, as long as it's not out too long. That night bro, sis and I went out to a few different bars (always fun with them) but nearly got stranded in West Chester when mom's Impala wouldn't start. It ended up being a problem with the ignition security system, but we avoided a tow the next day when it just randomly decided to work in a last-ditch attempt.

Friday saw Mom, bro and I looking at motorcycles for mom and buying a chainsaw to cut up a tree that fell directly onto the bonfire burn pile in Thurday's wind storm. How fortuitous, since we'd planned on collecting wood for a bonfire that night anyway! The bonfire drew quite a crowd, including a friend of my brother's from Boston, another from San Diego, (obviously not just for the bonfire) my good friend J. from NYC, and a bunch of my sister's friends from high school days. All in all really cool.

My good college friend J. and I then trained back up to NYC on Saturday so I could finally see her place in Manhattan. It's fantastically central to everything, and even though we decided not to go out that night, we had some great Tibetan food and some bubble tea afterwards, though the chocolate cake wasn't all that good. Sunday I trained back down to philly, but due to me missing the 10:15 at Penn Station by literally less than a minute, and a broken down Amtrack in front of the Septa I was on, didn't get into 30th street till after 2, and was close to making my bro late for his flight back to LA. We did get to see Grandma O. before he had to leave, though, and though it was too short, it was still nice to see her. My flight left monday morning at 6, so i was up shortly after 3, but waiting at IAH for over an hour for my ride. Yesterday also had some progress in physical therapy, a broken motorcycle (electrical problem i can't seem to even find, much less fix) and finally some sleep at around 10. Apparently bro interviewed last night (again) for a kick-ass job he really deserves, so I hope that went well.

How's that for way too much information?

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's always nice to see my family, especially mixed with tons of fantastic home-made grub. A cold, windy day, with a nice warm fire in the fireplace, bunches of full, happy people, and some of the stupidest, most interesting conversations are what today was all about. It's really nice. And tomorrow I get to see J. for the first time in almost two years and have a bon fire too boot! Great trip so far, I'd say.

Nearly Thanksgiving!

And that means I'm getting on a plane for Philly in just over five hours to go see my family! How exciting is that? I just printed out my boarding pass, but I think I'm checking a bag so it won't save me that much time. I could have gotten everything into a carry-on, but with an undoubtedly crowded flight, I don't really want to worry about having the space. It'll mean some extra time in the airport, but it seems worth it.

I'm excited to see everyone - aunt and uncle, grandparents, mother and brother and sister, among some other's, no doubt. I'm going to try really hard to get up to NYC to visit my good college friend J, since it's been completely too long since I've seen her, and I really want to see her place in Manhattan. I think the last time I saw her was over a year and a half ago when she came down for the rodeo, and that's certainly far too long.

I really can't wait for my mom's fantastic cooking. She's like Betty Crocker, only better. You think I'm joking. I'll see what I can do to help out, but it's never much. Things like taking the rolls out of the oven when the timer goes off don't take much skill, but it's better than letting me ruin the bird. (Last year's thanksgiving at my house had a fried turkey from a restaurant. best turkey i've ever done.) All the food and family and coziness is always cathartic, and I'm really looking forward to it all. Philadelphia, here I come!

It's been a while

...since I last rapped at ya, but not much of great import has happened since then. Come to think of it, not much of import ever happens with me, but I write about it anyway. So here's some more. My second physical therapy visit on Friday completely kicked my ass. If it had boots I'd still have the tread imprint. I still ache from it, and Saturday was just painful. I've got another session today, and hopefully they'll go a bit easier, but I doubt it.

I bought myself a little palm sander Saturday to do some projects I have around the house, and it works great, just not for what I want it to do. I'll keep trying, though, and see what comes of it. Sunday was all about tailgating and watching the Texans humiliate themselves yet again, but not before driving roomie A. to the airport at 6am. (I was back home and asleep by 7:15, though, thanks to the complete lack of traffic.) My tall cousin C. came into town for the game again, and brought me his extra ticket - Thanks again - but didn't get there early enough to enjoy the 4 hours of great tailgating before the game. Sounds like a bit much, but really it's just a big party with lots of food and beer. What else are Texans fans supposed to do?

Physical Therapy Day 1

I just got back to lab from my first physical therapy appointment. Ouch. They were amazed at my extremely constrained range of motion, which seemed to make them push me that much harder. I know it's for my own good in the long run, but I'm gonna be sore tonight. This time took about an hour and a half, and next time should only take about an hour. 3 times a week for a month and I should be ready to weight-train to get my strength back. 4 months and the doc says I should be good as new.

Appointment

I was supposed to get my final follow-up appointment yesterday, but the doc had to do emergency surgery so it was rescheduled for today. I haven't worn my sling since Saturday, and it's amazing how much my mobility is restricted. I don't know when physical therapy will start, but hopefully it won't take another few weeks to schedule. I rode my bike (motorcycle) to school yesterday and today, and it was uncomfortable and tenuous at best, but still ten times better than driving my car. I certainly won't be doing any track days anytime soon, either.

Deja Vu

I'd swear I've done this exact thing once already. I'm dumb enough to do it again, as if once wasn't enough, and I didn't learn from the first time. This time, though, I botched it even worse than before. What kind of idiot doesn't learn from his mistakes? The worst part of it is that I've hurt even more people than before, much worse than before, myself included. F-ing idiot.

Today I am...

Angry. Angry because I am hurt.
I don't like being angry and want it to go away, but it won't.

Veterans Day

I just want to say how greatful I am for all the selfless people who have donned a uniform of the United States of America. With their committment to a cause greater than themselves the entire world benefits. While people of the past, present, and future debate the nuances of military actions, it is because of the people responsible for those actions that they have the freedoms to do so. And while a miniscule minority are in charge of those debated decisions, are remembered in history, or are named in the news, it is by the courageous actions of the countless unnamed veterans that any of it is acheived or remembered at all. So thank you all you veterans for the countless benefits the world reaps because you chose to don that uniform, and all the responsibilities and sacrifices that come with it.

Stone cold illin'

that's right. i just went oldschool.

i feel like crap today. all over achy, woozy, and slightly nauseous. I went back and forth between freezing and sweating like a pig all night, so I'm guessing a fever's running its course. fun. i've been fighting something for the last few days, but it decided to hit full force last night. perfect timing.

sometimes, sometimes, sometimes

... I feel like i just can't handle it
any more.
like what's the point?
I want to believe, but
it just won't come,
looking for life
in desperation.
I'm no good at this
never really was
but scrape along fooling
myself, that it's all good
enough: that I'll get by
just as I am now -
the hollowed
looking for the hallowed,
avoiding the nothing
but looking for something
within.

Motorcyclists are evil

It's stupid sh*t like this informative article about motorcyclists and their noisy machines that helps propagate the stereotype of the selfish, stupid, dangerous bikers out there. Admittedly, there are tons of squids on sportbikes who do nothing but help that same stereotype, but that's a minority of riders I know. Either way, I can't wait to get back on my bike after more than a month. There's a bike show this weekend that's close enough to walk to, that ends a day before I get my sling off. I figure by Monday I'll be foaming at the mouth I wanna ride so badly. Granted, it may be a while till I am physically able to ride my big beautiful beast of a bike (2001 Suzuki TL1000S, slightly modded,) but I'll certainly try as soon as it's safe.

Back to the future of the past

Saw a Delorean the other day and thought it warranted a quick pic. They're basically crappy cars, but still look cool and make me wonder where the flux capacitor goes. This one had a handicapped tag hanging from the rearview, which makes me kind of sad. I guess doc brown's deteriorated more than I thought.

What the hell is wrong with people?

This story in the Houston Chronicle is too similar to a number of others I've read in the past few years I've been here. What the hell is wrong with people that they could do that to a six-month-old?!? I know that crushing stupidity affects an alarmingly huge number of people in the world, but it takes something extra to account for these parents' actions. I'm not religious, and not one prone to dramatization, but this type of thing really just strikes me as evil. There's some part of human nature that is still so animalistic as to be frightening, and it seems to be a measure of civilization how effectively people can reason with, or often supress those base, animal aspects of themselves. These people are just fucking neanderthals and should be painfully sterilized so as to never be able to reproduce again. There's just no room in a decent world for people like these. Lucky for them we don't live in that world.

Know anyone in jail?

Just as I was about to leave for work this morning, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I think, "strange. who would call me at this time of the morning?" (I don't think in capital letters.) So I pick it up to hear a recording.

"You have received a collect call from .... Fort Bend County Jail ... Fort Bend County Jail ... To accept these charges..."

It went on to repeat, but it might as well have been in Klingon because I was no longer paying attention. All I could think of was who the hell would call me if they got thrown in jail? I'm not really that one phone call guy on anyone's list that I know of, and I thought that your first phone call didn't have to be collect, anyway. Lucky for me I didn't have to make the decision to accept or reject the charges because my stupid signal faded and the call was dropped. Thanks for your wonderful service, Sprint!

Restless Thoughts

Why is it I always start thinking about the tough questions right before I want to go to sleep? Inevitably the thought process keeps me up - probably a big part of my trouble sleeping since I can remember. My mind always seems most active right before bed. Maybe I need to make a conscious effort to have a good hour of down time before I want to be asleep - starting before ten thirty at night. From things like research problems and difficulties, to personal issues and worries, if it's something I couldn't figure out or get squared away during the day (or days past) it comes back to the surface as I lie in bed. I suppose this is normal, but I always have trouble quieting my thoughts in the dark.

I like the idea of an hour of dedicated, electronic-stimulation-free down time every night. I'll see how easy it is to actually do.

Relaxing weekends

... are necessary every once in a while. I finally did a bunch of cleaning that I've been meaning to do forever, including getting my nasty-ass bathroom sparkling once again. There's something incredibly satisfying about having everything clean and in order, and it makes me wonder why I don't do it more often. I might have gone a bit farther than usual when I organized my science fiction books alphabetically by author, but what the hell. I like it. Next cleaning / organizing project is my closet. That should be fun.

It actually wasn't too bad coming in to work this morning. I think I was dreading it more last night than I was after getting out of bed today. It's still stupidly hot and humid, though, making me wish I could see some gorgeous northern foliage like some of my friends got to this weekend. That's one thing I'd change about Houston - I'd put it far enough north to shorten the summer and give us some nice fall foliage. I certainly miss that about the Philadelphia area.

Uneventful Saturday

Laundry, some house cleaning, some barbeque at the hickory pit with roomie A. and friend J. He came over earlier to wash his bike. It's killing me that I still can't ride, especially in weather like this. (88 today, with mostly sunny skies and cool breezes.) We played some Crimson Skies on X-Box before heading out to Gingerman with A. for a couple drinks, but we called it an early night as none of us were in the mood to try our non-existant game in the Village. All in all, a good day, but I may have made a mistake by caving in to a rather emotional decision. It was great for a short while, but afterwards I'm just more sad and uncertain than ever. Is there ever really a right answer?

umm... no.

so live with it.

Decisions

I've never been very good at making up my mind about things I think are important. I certainly have a tendency to over-analyze, which often makes unimportant decisions seem so much more than they really are. So now I'm in a place where I'm once again over-analyzing possibilities, probably making things more difficult than they need be. It's not really an easy decision even if I weren't prone to agonizing over the process, but it's still basically a should I or shouldn't I. Of course, if you know how much I can drag out stupid decisions like which pair of shoes to buy, you can get an idea of how long any emotionally-based decision can take. Boo-freakin'-hoo. There are a couple of avenues to choose from, and I'm ignoring the least pleasant ones for now, so all that's left is to sack up and stick with one. If only it were as easy as the Bush administration wants it to sound. Stay the course. HA! If it doesn't work here, how can it work in any sort of political situation? That's right. It can't. But I don't care about that at the moment. I'm too self-absorbed.

Work, or the lack there-of

So at the moment I'm waiting for the turbopump to pump down the load lock chamber on the RHK UHV system I use, and it's taking forever. It's not really surprising since it hasn't been used in over a week, and the nitrogen vent gas had run out, so the LL chamber was most likely contaminated last time the dosing valve was switched (not by me, btw.) Still, It's been pumping since noon, and as of 2:20 isn't even close to the pressure I need it to reach before I can sputter and anneal the gold sample I have in the chamber. That's all I really want to do today - get everything ready to dose a more diluted sample of nanocars (.pdf) on Sunday or Monday. Looks like it may be a late evening, though, if the LL chamber doesn't get down to pressure soon. Grrr. So I'm back at my desk avoiding working on the papers I should get out ASAP.

Slings and Things

Listening to: "O Brother, Where art Thou" soundtrack
Doing: Finding and Processing image data for new papers / editing
Feeling: :( Good Lord, why isn't it Friday?!?
Thinking: I don't really have anything planned this weekend, but at least it won't be a work day.
Also: I may just take off the sling before my Dr.s appointment, but also before I go crazy. It's so freakin' annoying, and starting to get me down.
And: Gorgeous weather and no motorcycle riding makes Andrew a dull boy.

Thursday Nonsense

Nothing new to report today, except that I finally got my shaggy, hippie, hair cut. Oh yeah, and I shaved for the second time in a month. (Not easy for me to do left-handed.) Egads. I'm so clean cut Boyscouts look like ruffians by comparison. I also look like I'm about 20.

This just in: I'm looking at a movie of a molecular dynamics simulation that shows the fullerenes rotating on the trimer molecules in my research. It's hard to say just how much motion is due to the rotation of the fullerene wheels themselves, but at least they're rotating. This is incredibly exciting. I can't wait to see the simulations of the nanocar molecules. Woot!

Time to do some work.

The more things stay the same

Looks like B.'s out of the picture. ( Lil' John's for her.) I know I'm not ready for a relationship, but I could have handled things better from the beginning - at least known my own feelings better. Now I've somehow turned into that typical guy: the guy women talk about when they say all men suck. Maybe not turned into, maybe just now realized. I'm getting lots of practice driving great women away. Seems like a recurring theme with me. My luck's bound to run out sooner or later.

Time, debris in heavy winds, and airplanes

They all fly. On the way back from picking up my friend J. from Intercontinental airport yesterday, I ran into some of the heaviest rain I've ever had the displeasure to drive in. The winds were crazy, too, before it got too dark to see. There was cyclonic wind activity on the ground and what looked like funnel clouds overhead. But then the rain really started and there was nothing else to see. Going 30 mph on a major highway and still passing people is sort of freaky, but at times I literally couldn't see anything but the tail lights ahead of me: no lines on the road, no sides of the road, nothing that wasn't itself a source of light. I eventually found my way off an exit and stopped at a gas station for about 20 minutes to wait for the worst of it to pass, and for my windows to defog. Neither really worked so well, but I slogged back to the city for over an hour in what should have been a 20 minute trip. That was definitely the least fun I think I've ever had in a car.

And I've just realized just how fast this fall has gone. It's November already. I haven't talked with E. in nearly six weeks. (Can it really be that long? It seems impossible, but forever at the same time.) Thanksgiving is coming up in just over 3 weeks. My arm is still in a sling for 2 more weeks, but the dislocation that started it all was 7 weeks ago. I can't bring myself to care about my research any more, and writing my 2 papers seems impossible. (That has nothing to do with the topic, but needed saying.) The mornings are finally cool, even though it still goes to 75 almost every day. I've been back to Philly once, will go again in 3 weeks, and again less than a month after that. WTF. This has turned into nonsensical spewing. More later.