In about 4 hours

... my alarm is going to wake me up so I can shower, finish packing, and get to a friend's house to catch a much-appreciated ride to the airport before my flight boards at 5:30. While Matt and Emily catch a red-eye from LA, even with a layover, they'll still be in Providence about two hours before I will. Lucky them, they get to wait for me. We're off to Wayland Massachusetts, along with a number of other people (Mom and Aunt Kris among them,) to be with my family for Uncle Russ' memorial service on Saturday. And I'm feeling a little emotionally confused. Its usually such a good thing for us all to get together - traditionally only for summer vacations at the Cape and Christmas II celebrations - that I can't get rid of the conditioned impulse of excitement at the prospect. It will be good to see those who will be there, but of course I wish we didn't have the reason. I guess just being there is about all I can do, too, so that's what I'm going to spend the weekend doing - just being. There. With family.

Uncle Russ

Today my thoughts are with my cousins and Aunt. Uncle Russ passed away yesterday, losing a long battle with cancer, and leaving what I know is an indescribable vacancy in their lives. I can empathize, but can't be in their shoes. I will miss him terribly, but nothing compares to losing a father or a husband. I can give them all my love and support, but there's nothing I can give them to make it hurt any less. And that might be the worst part. I want to give them something - a word of encouragement, an expression of my love for them, a token from my own experiences - that will help it hurt less, even if only a little. But there's nothing anyone can do on that level. It's an intensely and necessarily personal pain that can be shared with others, but not alleviated by them. Still, I want to do what I can, not only to show my love and support, but to honor his memory. At the moment, I've only got a token.

I'll never forget the Cape Cod summers in his various sailboats - they were his highlights to me: a small, almost insignificantly small part of the whole wonderful person he really was. The wind in the sails, the hot summer sun, the joyfully fun and exciting outings with Seagull Beach on the horizon; all these were only parts of the backdrop to what I saw as his show. Still, I truly saw my uncle those times, and hold on to them as a part of his definition. I've missed all that for years, and I think I'll miss it even more now.

Nearly a month

... since I last posted. Not much has changed. I've been to PA and back for the holidays, spent New Years in Houston with friends, and have gotten back into the excruciatingly frustrating routine of stagnant research. In an interesting note, it's actually about ten degrees colder here in Houston right now than it is in Media, PA. That's a rarity. I decided that the threat of freezing rain this morning and tonight was enough to keep me from my motorcycle today - but not yesterday. I bundled and layered up, with my rain suit and everything, and actually rode to lab in sub 40 degree rain. I ask you, hardcore, or just stupid? (It was actually a bit of fun, if I overlook the fact that even with glove liners, my fingertips were painfully cold after only 3 miles.)

I'll try to keep up with this silly little blog more frequently now that I've had my yearly respite from it, and keep my four readers up to date with my oh-so-exciting life. Hopefully by this time next year I'll be in a real job with some real updates to share, but until then, I'll just be dishing out more of the same whiny grad student drivel. So here's to another year of blogging irrelevance! Hooray!

Oh, and here's a picture of my turf-burned knee that I got last Saturday playing keeper on our Cuervo Goaled indoor soccer team. (Pretty sexy legs, there, eh?) It still hurts like a bitch, and I'm keeping it all gauzed and taped up. I hope it heals by the weekend for our next game!